Entry 10 // Troubles with my bike

Update by: Luke | February 1st, 2011

I feel like quitting.  I am so pissed/angry/frustrated/confused/exhausted right now.  The last three days I have been trying to get my bike running.  It’s like an emotional rollercoaster.  One minute I think we have solved the problem, the next minute I am pushing my bike back to the hostel.  All while trying to film and document the process.  This trip is such a great thing to accomplish, but we can’t even get past the simple stuff.  Shipping the bikes was a nightmare, and now that they are here, mine won’t run.  This is just the beginning.

I feel like I am letting my friends down.  Nick quit his job and gave up seeing his girl friend for 5 months to go on this trip.I am sure he would rather not be stuck with me in Cape Town trying to fix a never-ending problem.

Timmer spent a few grand on airfare and park fees and permits to climb Kilimanjaro with us.  He took off 3 weeks of work and it looks like he will either have to cancel or climb it alone.  

Those of you who know me know that it is my tendency to take on more than I can handle.  I have done it time and time again, from buying a fishing boat sight unseen and almost sinking it TWICE, to signing a contract to buy a house only to lose it back to the owner.  Then there were the times that I tried to run a convenience store out of my dorm, walk around Houghton lake selling “Lake Rakes” and bring my 1988 Jetta back from the dead.  All were failures.  I always want to succeed, but in fact I fail a lot.  It took me 6 ½ years to get a 4-year degree at CMU.  I took the same class 3 times!!!

My point is, these feelings are not new to me, but that doesn’t make them any less valid.  The fact is, I put myself into those situations.  I could probably make my life easier but I don’t, so I have no reason to be upset.  The people who have terminal illnesses can be upset, the people with missing limbs can be upset, and the people with no food to eat can be upset.  I cannot be.  I must be strong, and after typing out this entry I feel better…a lot better!

Wish us luck, and wish that I don’t get all emotional again.

Cheers,  Luke

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